So, the Queue was so long. It seemed unending. The more I looked, the less I saw.
Virtually everyone was reading. Some were using policy ‘La cram, la pour’. I
reprinted my Examination Pass and joined the queue. I was the last on the queue,
but before I could say; ‘Jack Robinson’, another unending queue had formed
“Be in the queue.” A Security Officer commanded us.
You needed to see the backless and the chest less Clients, who dressed like those
going for night clubbing. At any slightest provocation, one would see their
nakedness. Some had nice looks though. It was over obvious that many didn’t peep
into their mirrors before coming for the Exam.
It was the first day of the Post UTME 2018 Examination of the University of
Lagos in the University of Lagos. Everyone weren’t smiling.
Eagerness to write the Exam was the order. Fear rent the air. Anxiety and
In the queue, you needed to see color not dressing – One fellow had a brown dyed
hair on her head, a pink dress, red sandals and a yellow painted finger nails. Some
had their legs in blue shoes, red trousers, black bag, red T-Shirts and brown
handkerchiefs. There were plenty of Masquerades on the queue. I was tired of
Nigerians and their senses of generating quick money. Just because we weren’t
allowed to go into the Exam Halls with our bags, some people came, saying that
they will keep our bags and valuables for us at the expense of two hundred naira
per valuable. They knew we had no choice than to succumb to their exorbitance.
I wasn’t a Lone Ranger though; I had God by my side. No under-dressing, no overdressing. Some dressed like certified Zombies, some dressed like madmen, some
like clowns, some like market women, some like traders, some like motorcyclists,
some like pepper sellers, some like NEPA officers on duty, some like night
clubbers, some like Prostitutes, some like Necromancers, very few like Pastors and Evangelists, some like Comedians, some like busy bodies, some like Waiters, some
like Lecturers of old days, some like Footballers, some like gardeners and the likes.
Scarcely would one see a responsibly dressed human being.
The night before, I was sleeping two kobo sleep. I was anxious to destroy the
questions. Anxious, not because I was Omni brilliant, but because I was eager to
know what Post UTME Examination looked like. Little did I sleep. Almost every
thirty minute, I’d wake to count the ceiling and imagine how the questions would
It pricked my heart that we didn’t go together. Though, I knew how I could have
arranged and she would’ve been there with me, but I chose to be a Loner. She
doesn’t even know that I wrote the Exam. I just felt like doing it that way. No
I just hope she forgives me. I just felt as a Writer, certain things should happen to
have a better story.
I wasn’t a Lone Ranger though; I enjoyed the company of the Holy Spirit. I wish I
knew how to praise him like Tope Alabi, I would have done better. I felt His
presence although the exam.
Unlike the JAMB search process, the security officers searched us right before that
crooked gate. There he went, checking our exam passes, searching our pockets and
massaging our buttocks in the name of checking our back pockets for exhibits.
“Baba, Search me responsibly o. I’m a certified responsible gentle young man.” I
And so, I walked majestically alongside with my friend – the Holy Spirit, towards
that cold hall for the Exam.
Fear was in the air. Anxiousness ruled the day. Palpitating hearts were rampant.
Nobody was smiling. Even the time wasn’t friendly…
So, we sat, awaiting the ‘start’ command. The seats weren’t hot as everyone
thought they’d be. The I. T Facilitators needed to fix some things before we could
start. Again, I wasn’t a Lone Ranger. I felt Him by my side, telling me that all has
been settled and that I should chill, but in the process of waiting, I dozed off and
had a terrible dream of which I wouldn’t like to share.
And oft we started. Fourty questions for thirty minutes. Nobody even had time to
use the convenience; for urine founded its cube root in our bladders. Seeing the
questions, I felt like I over read for the Exam. I felt that way not because I was
Omni Knowest, permit me, but because, I’ve got God by my side.
Quickly, the demons came ragging, speaking alongside with the whispering Holy
Spirit and trying to confuse me.
Let me quickly try to explain how the questions were:
They were like the visible notes in the hands of a brilliant Singer to sight read and
sing. They were like the pittance in the hands of a child on an errand to the shop of
the old woman with scattered teeth of the village of Anansewa to purchase walnut
for his grandfather. They were like the simple and locally made paper football,
made by the potbellied children of Alphabeta School, often played during dusk
under the illumination of the Village moonlight. They were like the simple dance
steps of one of the twelve female dwarf dancers of Ijukuajo village, whose dried
flat chests with developing dots were covered with silk and transparent wrappers
during their seasonal Yam Festival. They were like the broken pitcher which fell
from the hands of Arewa, the only survivor and the prettiest of the seventy-two
female children of Lanwa, the most Senior Chief amongst the Oyomesis (Yoruba
King Makers) of Ajelanwa Community. They were like the granulated bitter cola
in the hands of Chike, to feed his grandfather of ninety-two years of age. I could go
on and on describing, but let me stop here.
Though the questions weren’t as difficult as I thought they would be, but very
technical and confusing.
As I carefully picked my answers under the tutelage of the Holy Spirit, I peeped
into the bio-data of my Competitor and saw about five A1s and four Bs. Looking at
the JAMB score, it was almost 300. I looked at the programme; it was the same with mine. I opened my mouth and looked to left, peeped into the another person’s
bio-data too. I was lost in bamboozlement as to what my fate would be when I saw
excellent results around me. I came back to my senses when I remembered that I
have assurance in Christ.
I squashed the questions in eighteen minutes; cross checked my work within seven
minutes and stood up from that cold seat.
To say she is too good a person for a company is an understatement. I should have
called her for a company, but I chose to be a Loner, though, I wasn’t a Lone