“Gold.. Golden.. please open your eyes..” I open my eyes and I’m lying on the couch.
” Are you okay ?” Mom asks.
I sit up and look at both of them. I remembered what they said , Mitchel is dead. So how on Earth am I supposed to believe that ?
” How come nobody told me ?” I ask about to cry again.
They sigh as mother sit close to me.
” Gold , I’m sorry. We are surprised too.”
I shake my head and rush to my room. I lock the door and plump down on my bed. I called Jake and he picked up.
” Is it true ?” I ask on the phone.
” Jake , please say it.”
” Yeah , I’m really sorry. It happened so fast and we were all scared to tell you.” Yeah , right. I sniff back the tears and hang up.
” Gold…” I heard Miranda’s voice outside my door.
I stand up and open the door. She walks in and shut the door.
” I’m really sorry..”
The more they say ‘sorry’ the more tears I pour. I slump on the couch and cry my eyes out. What’s the need to live if one of my joy giver is gone. I’m about to go insane.
” He still love you. I’m sure where ever he’s right now , he’ll be fine. I missed him too.” She hug me and cry on my shoulder.
” I’m sorry.” She plea again.
This won’t change anything. I didn’t even see him for the last time and I’m loosing my mind. I clean my eyes and walk out of the room. I saw mom and aunt who turn to look at me at once. I scoff and walk pass them.
” Gold , where are you going ?” Mom asks.
” You don’t need to ask me. You caused everything. You’ve always hated him. Do I have to suffer for whatever thing that happened to Emily ? She wanted it and now I’m suffering for her shit. How’s it my fault i have to fall in love with him ? Do you have to despise him because of Emily. You don’t like me , I’m sure you fought with him the day he visited the hospital and you must have said terrible words to him which made him leave in a sad condition. Why are you doing this to me ?” I cry.
” Gold , don’t even try to get me angry. I don’t even care if you’re just being discharged. Don’t let me place a curse on you.”
” Go on. He’s gone , what am I living for. You’re gonna loose me same way you lost Emily. Fuck me.. ” I cuss and storm out of the house.
I walk pass my car and into the streets. I hail a cab and board it. The driver take the wheel and after several turns it halt outside Mitchel’s house. I run into the apartment and ring the doorbell.
No one replied and I had to knock loudly. The doorknob creaks and Allison is standing in front of me.
” What do you want ?” She asks. Her looks is sad like someone who’s been crying.
” Where’s Mitchel ?”
” Are you crazy ? Bitch you killed him. He was returning from that hospital of yours , but where is he now ? He’s gone. I told him to quit any fuckin thing he had with you but he wouldn’t listen. You killed my brother and you don’t have a right to show your face here. Get out.”
” Allison please. I can’t believe you. I love him , he can’t just die and leave me.”
” You’re talking about you , what about me ? I’m all alone. My family is ruined all because of you. First it was my father and then tobie and now you’ve killed Mitchel.” She yell.
” I need to see his grave.” I plea.
She sniffles and pave way for me. I walk pass her and rush to his backyard.
” Where’s it ?” I ask wiping my eyes.
” What’s wrong with your eyes ?” My breath almost fade away to the sight that beholds me.
I walk to the graveyard and squat. I look at the inscription and his name was written there , and RIP was also added.
” You should leave.” She sob silently.
I sob and facepalm myself.
” Gold , please leave. Don’t try to remind me of my loss. Just go.” Allison said with tears.
I nod and rush out of the house. My eyes are blurry and I’m just crying. I stand outside his house and cry my eyes out . He has left me and I just feel empty. How am I supposed to move on after everything.
He meant everything to me . How can he just leave me. I hail a cab and entered. I sob silently and clean my eyes continually.
” You’re okay ma’am ?”
” Please take me to THE SPOT.” I tell him.
He nods and starts driving. Soon the car halt and i alight. I take the other door to avoid seeing max in THE SPOT. I open the door to the house and saw Jason with Perkins talking. They’re not even smiling.
” Gold…” She stutters and remove her legs from Jason’s.
I shut the door as she stand up to hug me. I couldn’t make out words instead I cried.
” I’m sorry..” she says after releasing me from the hug.
” Why didn’t you tell me ? And Jason too ?” He takes a deep breath and sighs.
” I’m sorry..” he said.
” I’ll just go back home and cry my eyes out.” I said and turn to leave.
” Gold please wait. You can stay , I mean…”
” What am I staying for ? I mean what will I be doing ? Perkins he’s gone. Away from me. I’m never gonna see him again, I didn’t even see him before he left me. I woke up from a stupid slumber and then the next thing , the person i love is dead. Will I ever be okay ?” I cry.
” Gold please calm down. It hurt everyone too as much as it hurts you. He was my best friend , suddenly he just had an accident and he’s gone. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but I was scared. Your aunt and your mom suggest we didn’t tell you, they were gonna tell you yourself.” I nod and cried.
” We’re sorry.”
” Sorry is not bringing him back.” I sniff and ran out of the house.
” Gold…” I ignore Perkins and rush out of the block.
I board a cab and I stop in a beach. I’m loosing my mind. I stayed till evening and nothing is changing. Why can’t this just be a dream ? A bad dream. Then I’ll just wake up and pray against it.
My phone vibrates in my hoodie and i bring it out.
My mom’s calling. I switch the phone off and place it inside my back pocket. This world is so cruel . Thanks to my mom , this has been her prayer request ever since she discovered he’s Mitchel. Thanks to Emily too. I sigh and clean my eyes.
I gaze at the horizon and it’s gradually getting dark.
” You know you’re screwed right ?” A familiar voice said beside me.
I turn to look at this girl and my heart sink.
” You look forsaken..” she smiles. Am i dreaming or something. I close my eyes and look around the beach.
” They can’t see me , just you.” She tells me.
” I’m really sorry…”
” You don’t have to. I think you should move on. Ever since i left I’ve not known peace . I’ve always been wandering around the earth. I don’t love him , I’ve never loved him. I was just lost and I got myself into this mess. Look at you , you’re not different from me. He has left you , even if he has to come back , mom won’t allow it. Tell mom to let go , maybe I’ll be able to rest then. I saw the chemistry too , it was something special.” She smiles and cross her arm.
” There’s nothing here. Just emptiness. You don’t wanna be here , you’ll hate it. I really missed you.” A tear slide through my eyes and it dawn to me that I’ve been crying. I missed my sister , I look away and sob silently. First it was her and now it’s Mitchel. Is this bad luck or what ?
” I just wish you could come back..” I tell her and turn to look at her. She’s gone. For good i guess.
I wipe my eyes and try not to cry anymore. It’s almost evening and I walk out of the beach. I can’t continue this , what for ? When everything that I valued has left me.
I got home and entered the living room. Mom got up to hug me but I nudge pass her. I entered my room and cry again. I can’t move on , where am I supposed to start from ?
I lay on my bed and thought about him.
” Gold…” My mom called knocking on my door.
” Just go away from me , just leave me alone .” The more I wipe my tears , the more I tend to cry.
” You should stop thinking about him , he’s gone. You should move on.” Like it’s easy.
I didn’t hear a word from her and I assume she left. Miranda entered my room and give me an envelope.
” Mitchel brought it , two weeks ago. I had to keep it. I think it’s your birthday gift.” She says and turn to leave.
” What is inside ?”
” You should check it out.” She smile a little and left.
I open it and it’s a key. My bad , keys and a Visa. I saw a piece of note and open it. I read it and start crying again. It was my birthday gift from him. A visa to London with him , a new car and a new house. My own house.
I sob and tuck them back into the envelope. I throw them away and open my drawer. It’s not worth it. What am I needing them for. What’s the use ?
I open the pills and drank the bottle water.
” Gold , you can’t take your life , you can still move on..” my subconsciousness whisper.
” Just take your life , there’s nothing to live for.” The other subconsciousness said.
I cry and swallow the pills . The leftover pills slip off my hand as I hug my legs . Soon it will be over , I wish i didn’t wake up from that stupid coma.
” I just hope she doesn’t take her life. He’s gone and she’s about to loose her mind.” I yell.
” She’ll be fine. She needs time to heal.”
” I need to talk to her.” I walk out of the living room as my sister followed me.
I entered her room and Gold was convulsing. I rush to her and tried to hold her. She was gagging.
” Gold..” Anne called holding tight to her.
” Why will she want to take her life ?” I yell.
” You caused it.” I say to Anne.
” Miranda , get me a spoon.” I yell as she ran out.
” Gold , please stay with us..” I sob tapping her mouth slightly.
Her eyes gently close as Anne weep. We’re loosing her.
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